my birth story, breech and at home
Austin's Birth Story:
November 7th, 2024. 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant. I have a contraction that feels different, I look at the clock- 4:58am. I’ve been waking up to contractions throughout the night randomly, but this contraction catches my attention. I doze back to sleep, another surge comes, I look at the clock 5:08am. Hmm, okay. I doze back off , another comes, 5:16. Again, 5:26. Eric comes in to give me a kiss goodbye and leave for work. I have a feeling he shouldn’t go in but I also know I have hours, and I’m not fully convinced this is it. I’ve had several spells of prodromal labor so I doubt this is the real deal, but I can’t shake the feeling that these just feel different. I tell Eric I think something is starting but I’m not sure. I tell him to go ahead and go in, so he does. I have a couple more contractions in bed and then decide to get up and start my day.
By 6:10 Eric is texting me asking how I’m doing and if he should come home, at first I tell him no he can stay at work but by 6:30 I have a contraction that tells me this is for sure labor starting so I told him to come home. I wanted him with me from start to finish, we both wanted to experience all of it together. My contractions continue roughly 8 minutes apart, they kind of vary from 10-5 minutes but most of them around 8. Eric is home, we are SO excited and giddy but I am determined to just go about our day as normal as possible, in my mind I didn’t want to ‘scare labor away’. I text my midwives and Lindsey to let them know things are starting, just so they know to be ready soonish. Eric had also texted his mom to tell her today was likely baby day and to be on standby! I get ready for the day and we head over to Eric’s parents house because Laney made cinnamon rolls. We eat and hangout and then get in the car to go get Eric a coffee. Contractions continue around 8 minutes apart. We get his coffee, head home, and go downstairs to relax and let the boys play. I lay on the couch to relax and my body gave me a little break. I don’t have a contraction for a while while I rest. This was something that happened multiple times in my labor if I laid on the couch and when I got in the birth tub my body gave me longer breaks. I thanked my body for the break, melted into it, and enjoyed it.
I had a chiropractor appointment at 11, so I had Laney drive me to that while Eric was home with the boys. Contractions continue ranging from 10-5 minutes apart and intensity is picking up, I’m transitioning from breathing through each surge to being a little vocal. Each breath and hum is intentional, I'm focused and in control. After the chiropractor we get lunch at Arby’s, contractions in the car suck and I am ready to be home at this point. We get home around 12 and Lindsey texts me to ask how I am doing, I text back, “8 minutes apart, getting spicy lol”. By 12:20 contractions are 5 minutes apart and very intense. I had Eric text his mom to head over whenever she could, I was ready for them to get the bed made and the tub blown up. 12:45 and I invited my Midwives to come over, around 1pm they arrived- they had come to town ahead of time in case things moved quickly. The midwives brought in all their supplies, got cozy, and checked on the baby’s heart rate with the doppler- she sounded amazing. I decided to lay on the couch and text Lindsey, again my body gave me a little rest while I layed and relaxed. I thanked my body for the break, melted into it, and enjoyed it. While I’m lying, one midwife comes and offers me a cervical check, I decline. The evening before I had an appointment where I requested a check and a sweep, I was resting at a 4 so I knew I was at least there and didn’t want to get discouraged at the number. I trusted my body. I have a very intense surge on the couch, and afterwards decide to get up. At this point it is 2pm and my phone now becomes non-existent and time gets fuzzy for me.
It’s 2:20 and Eric suggests we go outside and walk around a little and I like that idea, we take the kids out to the backyard to feed the chickens, get eggs, and swing a little. I walk the curbing of our yard for a little bit and push the boys on the swing, intensity picks up a lot. I’m ready to go inside after just a short time. We come inside, and I ask for pop-pops to come get the boys. We hadn’t decided if they would stay for the whole birth or go but at this time I feel that it is best they go. I get on the dilation station (aka the toilet), I sit backwards with a pillow on the tank to rest my head and have some bloody show. After a little bit there I decide I want to get in the tub. The birth tub was so relieving and cozy, but a little too cozy- again my body gave me a little break and contractions slowed down. I enjoyed this while I could but knew I needed to get out soon to keep things moving along. I had a snack and some water and then I got out of the tub and went back to the toilet. Contractions on the toilet were NOT fun and this is when the hot/cold spells started. I'd ask for a blanket between contractions and a cold washcloth for during and right after. I labor on the toilet for about 10 minutes and have more bloody show. At this point I am thinking about Lindsey and how I haven’t texted her in a while and was hoping she knew she could come whenever she could. I wasn’t sure if I should ask someone to call her or wait longer. I didn’t want to call her too soon, and I am mentally preparing myself that I could have hours and hours ahead of me. It’s 4:10 and I move from the toilet back to the living room and get on my birth ball.
During a contraction on my birth ball all I can think is, ‘I want to call Lindsey’. I’ve had her by my side for both of my previous births and her presence brings me so much peace. The contraction ends and as I start to ask for someone to call her, she walks in the door (with the best mini doula on her hip). Divine timing. I am so thankful she is here. I labor on the ball a while longer, drink some water with electrolytes, and start to feel my body bear down more. At 4:32 I move from the ball to the floor, leaning over the couch with Eric by my side. The hot and cold spells continue throughout all of this and nausea starts to kick in. I continue to labor, surrounded by the best support, in my own cozy living room. I ask for a blanket, then a cold wash cloth and fan, then a puke bag- over and over, contraction after contraction. At this point I am fully in my primal brain, in my own world. I’m moving my body however feels right, and internally talking myself through each contraction and internally expressing gratitude for each break in between them. One surge at a time. I am focused on opening up and bringing her down.
I feel so confident in my body and in my baby. In my head I start to say ‘I’m ready to meet you, I am ready for you baby girl’. 5:17pm and my water breaks during a contraction. Clear liquid with fresh meconium- normal because my baby is breech. I know she is close, I feel her now- not externally yet, but I feel her low in my body coming down farther and farther. More meconium comes out, as I am pushing. 5:27 I say, “it burns!”. My entire labor has been so laid back, calm, and peaceful to me until this point, I scream my baby out. Butt, legs, body, arms, head- it happens so fast.
5:32 she is born. Breech. I reach between my legs and bring her to my chest. “Hi baby” I say, “we did it!”. She’s calm and quiet but right away starts to open her eyes to tell us she is doing good. She lets out a strong quick cry, and then is calm again. Her heart rate is perfect. She is perfect.
I sit back against the pool and enjoy her. We all enjoy her and enjoy the experience we all just had. Happy tears, smiles, awe.
Soon after I am ready for my placenta to come, I am ready before my body is so I have to be patient. Eventually I use the birth stool to help my body birth my placenta. Then we move to my bedroom and I get cozy in bed. I continue to enjoy her and nurse her. One of the midwives assesses me, no tearing. She shows me the placenta in detail and then Eric cuts the umbilical cord and then gets to do skin to skin with her while I get cleaned up and situated. I nurse her more, and then the midwives come in to assess her, take her vitals, and weigh her.
8 pounds 12 ounces. 22 inches long. She is beautiful and perfectly healthy.
We’re tucked into bed, cozy at home. The house is left spotless, as if nothing had just occurred- but my home is even more sacred to me now. We know what occurred here.
This birth is something I worked very hard for, preparing my mind and body during my entire pregnancy. Being so intentional. Connecting with myself. Diving into my spiritual side. Trusting my body. Listening to myself and my intuition. Standing up for myself. Educating myself. I feel so grateful for this experience and so proud of myself.
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.
Before and during this pregnancy, my third, I started diving into birth research. Physiological birth. Mother lead. Home birth. All of the statistics and the safety research. After reading books, listening to podcasts, listening to people's stories and diving into different evidence based websites I decided I would have my next baby at home. Untouched, mother lead. I decided I wanted to believe in my body, I decided I was capable. I decided my intuition was wiser than I ever gave it credit for. Women are designed to birth their babies.
As soon as I got a positive test I reached out to a home birth midwife here in town, I had a couple appointments with her and while her care was wonderful I found another group of midwives who I ended up connecting with on a deeper level and felt their care was a better fit for me. The Nest, three amazing midwives who I got to know more and more as pregnancy went on. Right away they sent me emails filled with information and resources for all things pregnancy and birth. I remember thinking how incredible that was and how frustrating it is that most mothers have to dig for this information. Your care team matters so much!
My pregnancy was great overall, I had nausea and vomiting during the first half, but that faded over time. I was healthy and my baby was healthy. I focused on my nutrition as best I could, I stayed active- weightlifting, yoga, pilates, lots of stretching and pelvic floor focused movements. Lots of yard work lol. I listened to my body and did what I could when I could. I went to the chiropractor throughout my entire pregnancy. I saw a pelvic floor therapist multiple times. I was very intentional this pregnancy. I went to therapy regularly and journaled often. Lots of inner work, mental and spiritual. Grounding, meditation, bodywork, and more. Most importantly I connected with myself.
Fast forward to my 34 week appointment, while feeling my belly my midwife noticed my baby was likely breech. Something I was trying so hard to avoid as my second was breech and ended in an experience I did not want to have again. She checked with the portable ultrasound and confirmed my baby was breech. My mind spiraled. I was doing all the right things- WHY did she flip and why was this happening again!? “This can not happen again” I thought to myself. My midwife wasn’t worried about it, she thought by my next appointment she would probably turn back to a head down position. Those two weeks between appointments I did everything I possibly could to encourage the baby to turn. She didn’t. My home visit was coming up and they thought maybe we should cancel since she hadn’t turned, but I wanted that home visit. I was still determined to have my home birth, my mind was convinced she would turn. I spoke up for what I wanted and they happily kept my home visit. I was proud of myself for that.
Week 37 passes and the baby is still breech, at this point I’m internally panicking (probably externally too). I’m doing all of the things I can possibly do -chiropractor, acupuncture, spinning babies, tilts, stretches, moxa, bodywork, the list goes on. I’m trying so hard to trust my body and trust my baby. I’m visualizing her turning, I’m talking to her about it. Each morning I wake up so discouraged when I feel her head at the top of my belly once again. At this point I’m trying to accept any scenario, and at this point I believe the only way to safely deliver a breech baby is by c-section. What I don’t know yet is that breech birth is a variation of normal, a vaginal breech birth is normal. I am spending time mentally preparing for a c-section, visualizing it and talking myself through it in the most positive way possible, but it feels so wrong in my body. Every single time my visuals lead me to crying on the table. I can’t shake this feeling of how invasive it feels. Of course there are times when c-sections are necessary, but this does not feel necessary. This does not feel okay to me. Everyone is healthy, medical intervention does not feel needed.
I hit week 38 and while I’m still hopeful she will turn, I want to know ALL of my options and what they all entail. All the risks, all the benefits. I follow a woman on social media who is a big advocate for physiological birth. I remember her once saying if her baby was breech her midwife is trained to deliver a breech baby at home and that is what she would do. I dive in. I research, listen, and read. The more I learn the more I think “wait- I can totally do this”. This route feels more and more safe and right for me the more I learn. I bring it up to Eric and let him in on the information I have learned about, he’s on board and supportive of whatever choice I make. Most importantly he believes in me, he trusts me and my body and my intuition. I decided to reach out to this midwife that delivers breech babies (she’s in the Spokane area). At this point I’d rather have a free birth than have a c-section and I tell her that. She goes over breech birth with me, I ask questions and we chat about how I am feeling. Even with her very full schedule she is kind enough to offer to deliver my baby at her birth space if I want to come to Spokane to do so. I feel a massive relief to have that as an option, but it still doesn’t feel completely right either. I don’t want to sit in a car for 2 hours in labor, Iwant to be home, and I want my birth team there. I remember her saying “breech is a variation of normal” and that sticks with me. There is nothing ‘wrong’ here. My body is wise. My baby is wise. I am feeling more and more confident in myself and in our design.
I have another appointment with my midwives and I just blurt out how I am feeling. I tell her how I would rather have a free birth than a c-section, how I’ve been researching breech birth like crazy, how I feel in my body about everything and what my intuition is telling me. I stand up for what I want and in the end I receive full support from all of the midwives on my team. I am grateful they have breech training, I am grateful they believe in me, I am grateful for their support and for having a choice.
All women should feel like they have a fully educated choice.
Once I knew I could birth my baby however I wanted too with so much support around me the BIGGEST weight was lifted off my shoulders. My stress levels went down and I was able to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy without the fear of ‘having’ to do something I felt was wrong for myself and my baby. My pregnancy and birth was all led by me, as it should be for every mother. I was able to refuse what I wanted to refuse and ask for what I needed with no judgement. Everything that was ‘just routine’ in my last pregnancies was a choice in this one. I didn’t get a single cervical check during my labor and birth because it didn’t feel necessary to me. I got a membrane sweep at 41+3 because I asked for it and because I felt like my body was ready for it to actually help labor begin. I had hour-long appointments and used that whole hour almost every time not just to check on the baby but to also check on me, talk about my feelings, and connect with my midwives. I even had a medical midwife who I loved with my last two pregnancies, but the difference in care was still night and day. The care I received from The Nest is care I wish every woman could have. Physiological birth and all that it can be feels like it has been lost and drowned by the medical system. It’s amazing what birth can be when it’s left alone. I wish I could relive Austin’s birth, but the experience and memory of it is a blessing. Her birth changed me as a mother and a woman.